Portrait Gallery

Jeffrey Michael Lucey

Student
From Belchertown, MA

Marine, Lance Corporal
Convoy Driver
Iraq, 1/03 - 7/03

After returning Jeffrey Lucey took his own life as a result of post-traumatic stress.This letter was written before embarking on a dangerous mission in Iraq.

Baby,
If you have this letter, I am no longer around. This was not written to make you cry, but to let you know that because of you I lived a happy and complete life. Because of you I was able to experience what real love is and how wonderful the feeling, to truly be in love. Of course we also showed each other how frustrated we could really get but I wouldn’t even change that. You were the only person I ever loved but I don’t want that to be so for you. Live your life and enjoy every moment. I will always be there with you, watching you, and since you’re alive don’t play dead; live and find love again. Make some guy as happy as you made me, but make sure he treats you better than I did. You are an angel and deserve to be treated like a goddess.

Pablo Rodriguez

Police Officer
From Holyoke, Massachusetts

Air Force, Military Police Officer
Airport Security
Baghdad, Iraq 3/03-6/03

Written Statement

I have no statement to make.

Claudia Lefko

Coordinator, Iraqi Children's Art Exchange Project
From Northampton, MA

Activist, Northampton Committee to Lift the Sanctions/Stop the War in IraqCollecting Children's drawings and Photographs
Bagdhad, Iraq 12/03-1/04

Written Statement

The Curly-Hair Girl

You don't see
the girl's face
in the photograph.
Only the beautiful,
curly brown hair
and her bruised hand,
holding the picture
we'd brought from America.

She was sick;
all the children
are very sick
on that hospital ward
in Baghdad.

We smiled,
gave her paper and crayons,
and moved on.

In spite of the sad dreariness
that surrounded me.
I remember feeling buoyed by my mission--
shielded and protected
by a joyful sense of purpose
as we went from bed to bed
around the ward.

But then, the sound--
dissonant, and disturbing--
began to penetrate my
protective shield,
waking me as if
from a dream.

I turned to see a doctor
connecting an IV
to the hand of the curly-hair girl.
and she was whimpering.

No hearty cry
or tearful protest--
none of that.

No. She was whimpering
in a voice I can still hear,
but can barely describe.
A quiet, mournful pleading.
Or, maybe...
a high-pitched, listless moaning.

"She's dying," the doctor said.

The sound
of the child's misery
broke through
my sand-bagged reality.
Crayons, paper and good intentions
could not protect me
from this.

Trapped by my despair,
and unable to move
I stood,
completely transfixed
by the indescribable sound
of suffering that came
from the bed where
the curly-hair girl lay
dying.

Tanya Karst

Student
From Dover, NH

Navy, Petty officer, Second Class
Sonar Technician
USS O'Brien (DD-975)
Support for US Military in Afghanistan,
2001-2002

Written Statement
I enlisted into the United States Navy without knowing that my services would actually be needed to defend my country. The days after September 11, 2001 subjected me to a moral and emotional rollercoaster ride. But I was there. I sacrificed my rights and put my own life on the line so the people of the United States could continue to be free. My involvement of the defense of the United States of America is an honor that not one person is able to take away from me.

Lyle Phipps

Student
From Philadelphia, PA

Navy, Petty Officer
Sonar Technician Second Class (Surface Warfare)
USS Caron, USS OBrien
Support for US military in Afghanistan, 2001-2002

Written Statement

U.S. citizens enjoy protections established by our Constitution, fundamental rights that allow them to speak with genuine freedom and choose the direction of their lives. Soldiers give up these rights, their right to go or not go, do or not do; selflessly going into harm’s way. They do not war for themselves but to fulfill a duty and a solemn oath of service, often with great cost. This is how they do their job honorably, regardless of the lack honor often in those who decide what their job entails.

Alexander Scott Arredondo

1985-2005
Enlisted from High School
From Boston, MA

Marine, Lance Corporal
Najaf, Iraq through May 2005

Alexander Arredondo died in combat.

Excerpt From a Letter

...Today I am in a classroom learning about TACTICAL URBAN COMBAT and NUCLEAR, BIOLOGICAL, AND CHEMICAL WARFARE, in the middle of the Pacific ocean, on my way to experience 1st hand what I am learning about. I am not afraid of dying. I am more afraid of what will happen to all the ones that I love if something happens to me. Soon enough i will be in the desert, outside the city of Bagdad, in full Combat gear, ready to carry out my mission, Wondering how this all happened so fast, Wishing I was back home going to school, dating Sheila, taking care of my family. Although I think this way now I am almost certain that if I didn't walk this path I would be wondering to myself "Why didn't I walk the path of a proud warrior, a Marine?" ...

...What's Up Brian, I feel so lucky to be blessed with the chance to defend my country 6 months after I joined the military. Some marines have been in for over 20 years and still haven't seen combat. I'm also lucky to have such a wonderful family. I know how much you love me and support me and that keeps me going along with a few other things. Is Jeanette babysitting for mom?

I love You Brother Your Big Brother-Private First Class Arredondo-USMC

Scott Palmer

Unemployed
From Hadley, MA

US Army, Sergeant
Forward Advisor Fallujah, Iraq 8/03-10/03
Khowst, Afghanistan 8/02-1/03

Statement spoken into a recorder

It was my third day in country...the first guy from our company got killed.
We were using light skinned Hum Vees. We'd be packed, usually 8 to 10 guys per Hum Vee, in four vehicles going down the road. We'd basically be used to draw fire. You can't draw out guerilla insurgents unless you have some reason for them to attack you--you know what I'm saying? So we spent a lot of time in unarmored vehicles playing sitting duck. Waiting to draw fire or hit one of these mechanicals. We filled up ration boxes--cardboard boxes--with sand taping them and tying them to the sides of the Hum Vee. People would get hit in Hum Vees--a lot--over there and those MRE boxes didn't do much but slow us down.

When I got back I went to school. During my first semester at Holyoke Community College a team of U.S. Army recruiters had this blinged out Hum Vee. It was like a recruiting model Hum Vee, with a big "Go Army" logo on the side. It had a huge amp, enormous cables, and sub-woofers-- it was probably a several thousand dollar sound system with a big 100 disc CD changer in it.

And I think that is... At the time I thought that was the most disgusting, misleading, thing to advertise the military with. What they should have done is have some pictures of what Hum Vees really look like, and what they look like after they get hit with Improvised explosive devices and while people are still in them.

Jeff Brown

Student
From Rockwall, TX
Navy, E-5
USS Vincennes
Support for US Military in Afghanistan, 2001-2002

Quote by Dwight D, Eisenhower

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children...Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron."

Joe Herman

Student
From Florida
Navy

For a guy that has a lot to say about a lot of things, I'm truly speechless about the tyranny our American government is doing to innocents over something as silly as OIL. What saddens me even more isMy former Commander in Chief Used me as a pawn to tangle a web of lies and deceit;usingtheevents in New York City on SeptemberEleventh, to promote fearand generate propaganda.... "All I want is peace and love on this planet, ain't that how God planned it?" -Public Enemy, Fear Of The Black Planet

Nicholas B. Chavez

Student
From San Luis Obispo, California

Navy, STG2 (E-5)
Sonar Technician, Torpedo Launch, USS Mobile Bay, USS Curtis Wilbur, Support for US Military in Afghanistan 2001-2003

Written Statement

GRAY UNDER WAY
I grow paler each day in these blue coveralls,
wasting away behind these cold walls

working well before sunrise, well into the night
sterilized in the wash of a fluorescent light

my hours of rest, which aren’t that often
are spent in a rack the size of a coffin

no bluebird awakens me and sings to me sweetly
just alarm bells and whistles from the heartless 1 MC

too far from familiar friendly devotion,
a dull iron tub tossed about a vast ocean

blind from the grind, a mind half asleep
line up to eat with the rest of the sheep

days loop around on a broken recorder
a flat mix of watches, and cleaning, and orders

but I won’t ever break, or perceptibly bend
for I know this cold time is a means to an end

Lydia Rodriguez

Student
From Holyoke, MA

Specialist, Army National Guard
Transportation
Kuwait, 2003

Letter Home

Hello Girls, How is school going, specially how was your first day? I want to know about your teachers and any new friends. Also about what kind of clothes you got. I miss you all so much, hopefully I'll be home soon. Alyssa I hope that by now you have recieved your present. let me know if you liked it, I know you will. Things over here are going ok and and yes I am doing ok also. I'm still waiting for you guys to send me some pictures. I have been here almost four months and I havent received a letter from home. It would be nice to get a letter once in a while. They have me working inside the tent doing tent guard which is nice because im not outside in the heat. I have to do this for three days, thank God. Outside here feels like an oven even the wind feels very hot. Well ladies I got to get some sleep. I hope to hear from you soon, either through mail or email. I love you and miss you like crazy. be good and remember to treat eachother with love also help your father.

Rich Riley

Pharmacy Clerk
From Accomac, VA

Army, Staff Sergeant,
Platoon Sergeant for Carpenters
Camp Arifjan, Kuwait 10/02-8/03

Statement spoken into a recorder

In December ['02], we are gearing up. I have never seen so many military vehicles in my life. As far as you can see. Then the war started. People kept coming over, more and more and more. We got on this base in Kuwait. There were 500 people, there including us. By the time March ['03] rolled around, about 25,000 people were on this base. And with the people came the crime. Human nature is unbelievable.

This is the first time we have been sent out of the country to a hostile area. We are used to being safe. People don't realize that even in Kuwait you are in some sort of danger at some point. Especially on base, because there is so much going on, on the base.

I believe that within the next 4 years, we are going to be right back over there, we won't be withdrawing. We are going to be there. It's like they have opened a can of worms, a pandora's box. There's no turning back now.

David T. Vacchi

Professor of Military Leadership
From Portsmouth, RI

US Army, Lieutenant Colonel
Embassy Liaiason for the Combined Joint Task Force Consequence Management, Kuwait 9/2002 - 04/2003
Civil Affairs Officer for the 4th Infantry Division Artillery, Taji, Iraq 4/2003 - 6/2003
Task Force Operations Officer for 3rd Battalion, 16th Field Artillery, Al Husseinia, Iraq 7/2003 - 2/2004

Excerpts from a journal

21 Jun 2003
Brought more money to contractors in Tarmiyah today. Saw the sheikh. He thought I was checking up on his AO without a translator. I tried to explain I brought money for the contractor. COL S_____ took off for Tikrit today – I can’t even explain what a burden is lifted off of Taji when he’s gone. He’s the worst leader I’ve ever experienced in the Army.

22 Jun 2003 Well at the Civil Affairs meeting I learned why we’re not going to leave Iraq soon: they aren’t involved in projects that will get us out of here! Freekin’ Iraqi Youth Soccer League??! Unbelievable! Matt Leach hit the jackpot, potentially, with someone going to bring a list of all of the Ba’ath party members in Tarmiyah – tomorrow a meeting of the sheikhs in Tarmiyah and some more mining for Intelligence for Operation Sidewinder.

23 Jun 2003
Got my ass chewed again today. Now the CSM can’t keep his whiney pie-hole shut about us not getting the job done. COL S______ threatened my career if I risk Soldier’s lives again. What risk? We’re totally safe where/when I go. Who’s going to threaten his career when he risks Soldier’s lives? He told me to, “slow down”. When are we going to do anything that will get us out of this country? The first and last question we should ask ourselves every day is, “what have I done to get the 4th ID out of Iraq?” so far, not enough…

Tyler Boudreau

Writer
From Northampton, MA

Marine, Captain, Infantry
Rifle Company Commander, Operations Officer
Fallujah, Iraq 3/04-10/04

Written Statement

THE DANGERS OF INTROSPECTION
A commander must be cautious not to look too closely into his own heart. He might find things that he does not want to—things that could hinder his ability to make hard decisions in the heat of battle.

In thinking about war, there is what I would describe as a mission to troop ratio. A commander must believe in both; he must love them both; but ultimately he must love the mission a little more. He must be prepared to sacrifice the lives of his men for the success of the mission. But what if a commander looks into his heart and finds that that ratio has somehow reversed itself? What if he begins to love the troops more than the mission? What does he do? What can he do?

I stumbled upon this very dilemma as an infantry company commander.

From the disparity I witnessed between the policies in Washington and our actions in Iraq, an ambivalence formed inside me. It began to grow geometrically, doubling and re-doubling itself until I was utterly consumed by it. Suddenly I looked at the faces of my marines and I realized my reverence for them had overwhelmed my reverence for the mission. By definition, then, I was unable to command. I resigned my commission. After twelve years of service, I left the Marine Corps.

For an officer, love of the mission is not merely a good quality, it is an imperative. Love of the troops is secondary.

Margaret Oglesby

Assistant Chief Probation Officer
From Springfield, MA

Army National Guard, Major
Force Protection Commander
Kabul, Afghanistan 2/03-8/03

Statement spoken into a recorder

The mission in Afghanistan was a great mission and it was great to be a part of history. Supporting the orphanage and building the Afghan Army--which is building their future. Being a woman in that environment in a leadership position, dealing with the Afghan warlords and dealing with special forces was a challenge for them and I, because most of them, at that time--I'm sure things have changed now--didn't deal with female officers, because they just aren't part of special forces.

The most rewarding part of being there was supporting one of the orphanages . We would write home and request our family members send clothes, and school supplies and we would deliver the items to the orphange. Being able to have contact with the young boys and young girls was a pleasant break from the daily combat mission. It was good being able to participate in humantarian effort. It was awesome having, an opportunity to be part of the building process. Teaching the young girls in the local village was an opportunity for the young girls to see women in leadership positions--because its a real big deal being an officer to them. I think it was just as rewarding to me as it was to them, having that kind of contact.

I was really taken aback by the generosity of the Afghani people. They have very little materially, but they are very, generous.

My time away form home was a life long lesson to my children to see that freedom isn't free. This is a lesson many need to remember because we take a lot for granted in America.

Steven Udovich

University Administrator
From Newark, DE

Army, Lieutenant Colonel
Advisor to the Iraqi Army
Al Kisek, Iraq 11/04-10/05

Email excerpt

The People were very grateful to both the Iraqi and the US forces present, giving gifts of bread, meal and chai (an Iraqi form of tea) to the forces present. Additionally, there were the ever present children who came to see the troops, and ask for parts of the Meals Ready to Eat (MREs) the soldiers were eating on this mission. They loved getting their pictures taken and broke into chants of "USA! USA!" periodically.

As the day wore on, the members of the ASTs (Advisor Support Teams) took different views of the day's events. From the roof of the new city hall now under construction, we could see a long line of people preparing to cast their first free ballots as Iraqi citizens. We watched as a free media interviewed local officials about the elections, and we saw the cast ballots being assembled in the mayor's office. Most heartening of all, we could hear the foot stomping, clapping and singing of the different security forces as they celebrated the day's successes. All of the Iraqis said this was a great day for Iraq.

There are some people in both the United States and the world that do not agree with the coalition cause in this country and believe the cost of ridding Iraq of the Ba'ath party was not commensurate with the benefits realized. Had those people been in Sununi, Iraq on January 30, 2005 they would have a drastically different perspective.

Steve Mumford

Artist
From Boston, MA

Civilian, Independent
Artist, Combat Artist
Baghdad, Iraq 2004, 2004, 2007 (1 year total)

Statement Written for 100 Faces

I went to Iraq as a civilian artist because I felt compelled to go. I wasn’t strongly anti-war and certainly wasn’t making protest art. I wanted to see what a war zone was like and make drawings and paintings based on my direct experiences.

I’ve made five trips between 2003 and 2007, totaling about a year, half of it spent with American military units. Through 2004 I lived in hotels and apartments in Baghdad’s Karada district. I made friends with a bunch of Iraqi artists and poets and they showed me around their city, the art galleries, restaurants and tea houses where they liked to hang out. I used to take the bus down to my friend Ahmed’s studio near the Bab Sherji marketplace in the morning.

I’d yell, “Nasr!” when I wanted to get off until I found out I was mispronouncing the word and shouting “Victory!” which must have surprised and irritated the other passengers.

Then I’d bring up fresh bread and gaymar (Iraqi cream cheese) for breakfast and Ahmed and I would paint all day.

Steve Mumford
New York City
May 8, 2007

Koufan Hersons

US Marine Corps Recruiter
From St. Paul, MN

US Marine Corps, Staff Sergeant
Aviation Mechanic
Iraq 12/04-7/04

Written Statement

Throughout my life I've heard many people say you should do things that you enjoy or love to do as a career. However, I have learned that some of us are fortunate and get to do what we enjoy or love do for a living, but many of us will have to do what we must do and not what we enjoy or love to do.

Chaplain (Major) Henry Tim Vakoc
a.k.a. Father Tim

Priest
From Minneapolis, MN

US Army, Major, Retired
Chaplain
Iraq 11/03 - 5/04

Quotes from Fr Tim Vakoc
Email from Iraq
...ministry of intentional presence.

I live with (the soldiers), work with them, eat with them, care for them, listen to them, counsel them. The soldiers know if you are real and genuinely care or not. The soldiers see me out there with them, and that makes a difference.

Letter from Bosnia
The safest place for me to be is in the center of God’s will and if that is in the line of fire, that is where I will be.

Peter Philip Mohan

In Treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
From From Lakeside,MT

US Army SPC Specialist
Airborne Infantry
Bagram Afghanistan 1/03-7/03,
Iraq 2/04-12/04, locations: Camp Caldwell, 2/04-4/04 & 8/04-12/04, Camp Warhorse (Baquba), 4/04-8/04

Written Statement

I enlisted into the U.S. Army in the winter of 1999 after growing up in Lakeside Montana. Four years later in 2003 after being in Afghanistan from January to July, my enlistment was up. I got out and was ready to move on with my life. I found civilian life not to my liking despite four years of looking forward to it. I stayed in North Carolina with my girlfriend, got an apartment with her and soon asked her to marry me. I enlisted in the National Guard to get training in computer networking. A month later I was mobilized as an Infantryman as that was my MOS during my previous enlistment. I was to be sent to Iraq to fill out a unit already in country. This was really scary because the rest of the “fillers” were all inexperienced. They lacked the six-month train up those in this new unit had gotten. I felt justified in Afghanistan. It made sense to be there. Iraq just felt wrong to me and it killed some of my closest friends. But I did what I had to do and did it well. After all I had given my word as a man to my country and my fellow servicemen. We were bound by honor to a dishonorable man who was careless with our lives and to a nation that was too apathetic and afraid to stop him. I just hope a mess like this will teach a lesson we will not forget.

Jon Schnauber

Graduate Student
From Depauville, New York

Army National Guard, Sergeant
Military Police
Afghanistan region 8/02-2/03

Written Statement

When I returned from Afghanistan in 2003 I was not the same person who had left his family just ten months before. As a military policeman it was my duty to protect others, to ensure their safety. I believed this applied not only to my fellow soldiers but to all those that were in need. The military police crest is embossed with the words Assist, Protect, Defend. I thought those words had no boundaries, but they did. The people who were living outside our gates were killing one another. They cared nothing about human rights or social justice. Their only purpose was to force their will upon the less powerful. Many nights at area 24 I would listen to the gunfire, and as I stood there at my post I'd watch tracers ricochet into the night, and feel the shock waves from explosions flow over and through my body. These horrific sounds and feelings were followed by the screams and cries of women and children. Our superiors explained to us that the fighting between local groups was an internal affair and not the business of the American military. I was a member of one of the most highly trained and disciplined military forces in the world, and I was powerless to stop their suffering. This weighed heavily on my conscience.

Canaan Alicandro, 1982-2004 Active duty Marine

Canaan Alicandro, 1982-2004

From East Longmeadow, MA

US Marine Corps, Sergeant
Heavy Equipment and Tram Operator
USS Iwo Jima, 2003

Canaan died after returning from his deployment in a vehicular accident in camp Lejeune, NC.

Letters from Canaan

September 2000, Parris Island, S.C.
Hundreds and hundreds of miles apart,
Yet I can still picture it in my head,
As well as my heart
Things really aren't that far away
It all still sticks as if it were yesterday
All things happen for a reason
I'm here to become a Marine
As we hit the turn of the season
Things still remain to be seen
But we all knew this is Canaan's fate
to be one of the world's mean
And to create a machine
One with extraordinary power,
Muscle and awesome strength
That will devour
Any and all things that cross my road
I'm locked, cocked and ready to load

North Carolina
August 11, 2002

Believe it or not, today is my first anniversary of our eloped marriage...you see my life has gone through many changes in the last couple years, all changes that will affect my future, no doubt... from High School... next thing I know i'm in a strange place called Parris Island, here I was made into a Marine... Then it was off to camp Geiger, N.C....After that I was flown directly to Ft. leonardwood, Missouri...then back to camp LeJuene...during this time I would say I had more variables than constants.

U.S.S. Iwo Jima
March 13, 2003
As I write this I'm in the middle of the Atlantic...As I feel I have an uncanny ability to do, I'm gonna adapt and take full advantage of this situation.

Rick Yarosh

Active Duty
From From Windsor, NY

Army, Sergeant
Cavalry Scout, Bradley Gunner
Baghdad, Iraq 12/05-09/06

On September 1, 2006, Rick's vehicle was hit by an IED. As a result he has burns on 60% of his body, has limited use of his hands, and a has a below the knee amputation of his right leg.

Whether it's a look in the mirror, or the thought of a lost friend , it all goes back to that day.

Sergeant Luis Montes, Specialist Andrew Loe and I loaded into our Bradley, ready for a full day of patrols. After a short time, our vehicle was hit by an IED. The fuel cell ignited and engulfed us in flames.

We escaped the Bradley exceptionally fast. I escaped out the top hatch of the turret. I knew I needed to get off the vehicle. With my face on fire, I didn't know where the edge of the Bradley was and when I did find the edge I didn't know where the ground was. When I jumped off the Bradley I broke my right leg, severing an artery, which resulted in an amputation.

“Stop drop and roll” is no way to put out a fire when you're covered in fuel. I found that out while I was rolling on the ground, doing nothing but setting the grass on fire. I ended up rolling in a canal, which extinguished the flames.

The lost friend I speak of is Sergeant Luis Montes, he passed away due to his injuries seven days later. Specialist Andrew Loe survived with 20% burns, but the thought of that incident goes through his mind every day. I'm lucky and blessed to be here, I'm able to share my story with others.

That day started the same as every other day, but that day has never ended.

Guilford Mooring

Public Works Director
From Wilmington, NC

Naval Reserves, Lieutenant Commander (LCDR)
Manager of Reconstruction activities in Western Al Anbar Province
Al Asad, Iraq 2/06-9/06

Written Statement

September 11, 2001, the awaking call for the 3 generations since the "Greatest Generation". Unlike many of our parents, grandparents and even great-grandparents from that Generation, we answered the call by continuing our lives as we had before the attacks. “Do not let the attacks change your habits. Continue to spend and act as before the attacks. Do not worry that we will all need to pitch in to win. We can let the volunteers and contractors handle this, we are paying them, don't worry. We the People just need to continue doing what Americans do best”.

Now we ask why we are still there, it has been more than four years. It only took four years to win WWII. We forget that during WWII the entire nation mobilized. "We the People" fought the war then, not just the volunteers, the contractors and those who have nothing better to do. We won that war and stayed to rebuild what had been destroyed. We forged new friendships and like friends there were and are disagreements, some serious and long lasting, others minor. Like all relationships we have learned that they take continuous commitment and understanding for them to flourish.

Are we willing to make the commitment?

Scott Morgan

Husband/Father
From Houston, Texas

US Army, Sergeant, Retired
Chemical Corps, Nuclear/Biological/Chemical NCO
Taji, Iraq, 04/03-02/04
On February 18, 2004, Scott was involved in a mortar attack.

Statement Written for the Project

I knew from the start of the war that I wanted to go and soon was on my way to Iraq. I was thrilled, after all, as I thought I was on my way to find these “weapons of mass destruction”. I felt like this would let me give back to my country and defend it against evil. We went there on a mission and I was determined to do good for all. I never knew the price I would pay.

On February 18, 2004, I heard mortar fire. I grabbed my gear and ran out to check on a soldier manning the radio. Right then, a mortar landed 5 feet in front of me blowing me 20 feet into the wall. My legs crumpled beneath me fracturing both femurs. Due to my brain shifting on impact, I suffer from traumatic brain injury, too. Couple this with my post-concussive syndrome and PTSD, and I have paid a lot for defending our nation under a misleading guise. I will never walk ‘right’ again, my leg will never bend completely, I can’t play with my son in the way I wanted, and I can’t enjoy as many things with my wife. My life changed forever because of the quandary we are in by putting our noses where they don’t belong and acting as global police. When we mind our own business, we protect our own. We aren’t fighting the war we originally set out for. We are fighting someone else’s war.

Nick McCoy

In recovery at Brooke Army Medical Center
From Reading, PA

Staff Sergeant, US Army
Airborne Infantry
Iraq, 5/03-1/04, 9/06-12/06

December 20, 2006 Nick was injured by an IED explosion while on patrol. He was put into a medically induced coma because of his injuries. While in the coma he was given Heprin, an anti-coagulant, to which he was allergic. As a result both of his legs were amputated above the knee and his left arm received tissue and nerve damage.

Statement written for This Project

There are a lot of wounded soldiers out mixing in the population, and back to normal every day lives now. Some of their views changed about the war, others didn’t. Most, you will find, aren’t regretful or displeased with their military service. Rarely will you find a person who will say, “If I could go back I would change this”.
As for me, I have no regrets, nor would ever change a thing. The only thing I’m not pleased about is that I can’t go on further with my service. Of course, anyone who knows me knows I’m a little upset about my tattoos being damaged too. Things like that are replaceable. The friends and experiences I had over the years of my service are not.
I’m Staff Sergeant Nick McCoy, I was born on the 4th of July and am seven year veteran of the US Army Airborne. I joined the army at the age of 17, to see the world. I needed my parent’s permission to join because of my age. During 9:11, watching the events unfold via TV in my barracks in basic training, I knew I would see battle someday.
Proudly, I served two tours in Iraq. I was on patrol in southern Iraq, with my squad, when the blast occurred. There wasn’t a whole lot I remember. Because of my injuries I was put in a coma. Two months later I woke up in Texas, both my legs were gone, but my spirit wasn’t .

Philip Gorman

Drug Safety Research Scientist
From Wolcott, CT

Army, Staff Sergeant
Medic, Ground Ambulance Evacuation
Iraq, 1/05-10/05

Email:

Hey hon,

What a day! We’ve only got about 2 weeks left in this dump and today was my last shift in the ER. We had 17 MEDEVACs today!! There was this one, my last patient here. His name was Andrew, he just turned 24 a couple of days ago, young wife, new baby, etc etc. Shrapnel to the side of the head… there was nothing I could do. I tried and tried, tried everything I could think of; but he died anyway. This was not the way I wanted to end my tour. I pray that this is the last person that I have to watch die, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with this one… or the 18 that came before him. I have a feeling that Andrew is going to stick with me for a long time. Well, we’re leaving this place in a couple of weeks and should be all the way in about a month or so. I can’t wait to see you!! I hope all is well with you and I’ll see soon.

Chad Anderson

Retention NCO, Army National Guard
From Waterbury, CT

Army, Sergeant
Combat Team Leader
Afghanistan, 4/06-4/07

Written Statement

At times I sit and wonder if the rest of the world knows what the life of an infantry soldier is like or even care to know. The road we have chosen is an arduous one with many added pressures to endure and difficult decisions to make. We are fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins and friends, we have life goal and dreams but we put our lives on hold and proudly serve. Many may not understand why we keep doing it but we have two answers and they are simpler that you think, it’s for the guy on either side of us. It is not for the oil, the president, or even our commanders it is for the friends we fight alongside. The friends we share our dreams with, share our life stories with, share a meal and sleep alongside, the friends whose family we know well yet have never met, the friends whom we would willingly fight to the last breathe for. The other is so you don’t have to do it, so you don’t have to make those difficult choices like leaving your family to put yourself in harms way or choosing to continue to fight even though victory seems a distant and at times an unattainable dream. So the next time you see an infantry soldier and feel compelled to say something; you need not ask him why he does it, just stop shake his hand and say thank you thanks for a job well done.

Lieutenant Colonel David Rabb

Army Reserve Social Worker/VA Social Worker
From Chicago, IL

Army Reserves, Lieutenant Colonel
Commander of Combat Stress Control, 785th Medical company
Baghdad, Iraq 2/04-2/05

“Community needs a soul if it is to become a true home for human beings. You, the people must give it this soul.” -- Pope, John Paul II.

As a leader and mental health clinician in Iraq, I quickly learned that Soldiers and Marines healed quicker and better in communities. In well led units, there is a strong sense of bonding, cohesion, and esprit de corps – a sense of community. Isolation is unhealthy. Isolation, like complacency, kills.

So why is community so important in the healing process and why is the building of community so important?

Communities, authentic communities, I believe have an invisible and sacred code embedded within them that unlocks the secret and bridges the gaps between the dichotomies and contradictions in life. For example, the paradox of “being alone” and “being together”, needing to “feel unique” and needing to “feel you have something in common with others”, wanting to be “a part” of a group and wanting to be “apart” from the group. Between these treads the healing aspect of wanting to be understood, appreciated and valued for who we really are. Moreover, the ability for transformation is nested in community. Trauma has a way of significantly altering the natural trajectory of one’s life. Being in community, like gravity, has a way of grounding us and supporting us where we land after we experience traumatic change. Community is where healing begins.

As I see it, creating community is what good and great leaders do.

Alejo Amaris

Active Duty, in Rehabilitation
From Cali, Colombia

Army, Staff Sergeant
Ammunition Team Chief
Mosul, Iraq 3/03-1/04, Mosul, Iraq 8/05-6/06

Alejo was injured in a non-combat incident. He is burned over 77% of his body. As a result of the burns his right hand has been amputated.

On June 20, 2006, my Miami Heat was to win the NBA championship.

Before I could watch the game I had one more mission, to guard The Iraqis' refueling their trucks.

One guy tried to steal some fuel, so I walked toward him.

His truck exploded and caught my uniform on fire. I asked the Iraqis for help. I pounded myself on the ground. The grass was dry, so that didn't help. I ran to the front gate. When my squad leader saw me, he was shocked. I said, “If I don't make it, tell my wife and son how much I love them.”

I woke up at Brooke Army Medical Center, my whole family by my side. I knew my father did not have a visa, so I though I was back home in Colombia. I thought, “Oh, since they did not need me anymore, they sent me back.”

I was wrong. They were doing everything they could to save my life.

That is when the second battle began. It was painful to walk. I was burned over 77% of my body. My son only was three years old, he could not be in the ICU. I would do my best to get up and go see him.

So many days I prayed to God to take me. Now I know he keeps me here for a reason.

Life is 10% what happens to me
and 90% how I react to it
And so it is with you...

Chris McGurk

MA Department of Veteran Services Outreach Coordinator, SAVE Team
From Orange, NJ

Army, Staff Sergeant
Infantryman
Afghanistan, 7/03-5/04
Baghdad, Iraq, 7/05-7/06

Excerpt from a longer article written about coming home

My eyes dart from left to right, my pulse thunders in cadence, and sweat forms on my forehead. The taste of raw sewage and dust fills my mouth. The sounds of gunfire, children playing and explosions echo like a dull headache. Even after four months home, the streets of Iraq are still vivid. People ask, "How does it feel to be back?" I tell them all is well, then go about my business. The truth is, I don't know. I lie awake at night staring at the ceiling, in search of an obscure answer in the ceiling tiles. I toss and turn in a fitful sleep, never feeling truly rested. I walk down Broadway hunched over, hands in my pockets, iPod rocking, trying to feel like I belong.

It has been harder readjusting than I imagined. I still feel my arms and face going numb from the crushing weight of my body armor, the restrictiveness of my helmet, and the need to see my weapon within arm’s reach. I am not alone in my readjustment, but that has no effect on the intensity of my everyday reactions. I believe a part of my soul was left in Iraq that I will never get it back. The sadness and degradation that permeate the streets of Baghdad will change you in a way that cannot be put into words. People must realize that when you ask a Veteran of Iraq or Afghanistan how it feels to be back, you are asking a very difficult question.

Brad Watts

Chaplain, VFW Post 7997

Marine Corps Reserves MWSS-472
From Saco, Maine

Marine, Sergeant
ATL, Quick Reaction Force
Fallujah, Iraq, 8/04-4/05

Written Statement

I left for Iraq in August of 2004, and in the summer of 2009 I began to finally return. Through my work with the VFW I've met many veterans going back as far as Vietnam that have never returned.

My Biggest fear, prior to my deployment with 2nd Recon, when I met one of these guys, was growing up to be like them. Now my only fear is failing to bring them home.

Andre L Hinson

Active Duty, Professor of Military Science
From Midway, Florida

US Army, Lieutenant Colonel
49th Petroleum Group Operation Officer for 240th Tactical Petroleum Pipeline & Terminal Operating Battalion, Iraq 2003
US European Command Fwd Chief, Joint Petroleum Officer/ Chief of Mortuary Affairs Officer for US and Coalition Forces Northern Iraq, 2006-2007

Journal comments from LTC Hinson, Andre

In 1986 I received the OATH of Enlistment. In 1989 I was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army and accepted the OATH of Office which is a prerequisite to military service. I accepted a full measure of responsibility for this sacred trust. Until this very day I have kept the OATHs in the corner of my mind and continuously accepting that which the American people have invested in me. That trust entails constant preparation and readiness to come to their defense when their security and their way of life are threatened. It has been an honor to serve my country. The military have customs and traditions of which I am proud of and which set us a little bit apart from the rest of society. We have standards of comportment and deportment which others find different, perhaps strange. Often times we are accused of having military minds, and while I may have my own definition of the term, I am more than happy to agree that we do have, and further that we ought to have, military minds. I have been afforded the opportunity that is more than just a job or an obligation; in my mind it's a way of life.

Thomas F. Gingerella Jr

Security Director
From Wyoming, RI

Army, Specialist
Military Police
Fallujah and Balad, Iraq 3/03-4/04

11 JUN 2003
The silent darkness of the night
Broken by the piercing
Hollow wail of
Call to prayer
Beautiful, ominous
Romantic, threatening
Surreal

Equipment check- green light
We roll
Through the business district people stare
Through the market they scatter
Over an old iron bridge
Through the residential area

The architecture, the history
The music, the smells
The holy land
Cradle of civilization
Once proud and majestic
Now decrepit and impoverished

We turn
Head back
Through the sea of
Toothless smiles and
Waving dirty hands
The women and children
“Mista, mista. U.S.A.”

We keep rolling
Through town
Toward the marketplace
Empty streets
Shutters closed
Not right, not good
My heart pounding in my ears
I can barely hear my hummer’s engine

BOOM! An explosion to our left
A shot
Another shot
Then all hell breaks loose
Tracers in the dark
Like a ballet of red lasers
More explosions, RPGs

We stop
In the kill zone!
This is not procedure
We dismount
Return fire

The sounds
The smell of gunpowder
Two more explosions punctuate the
Steady intense rifle fire
Adrenaline rush
Yelling
Ducking
Firing
Steady streams of red
Dancing back and forth
Surreal
Almost beautiful

“Let’s Go!” “Un-ass This Place!”
You don’t have to tell me twice
We scramble into our humvees
Everybody leaves
The hummers don’t move fast enough
Plunk plunk
New holes in my hummer

Ten minutes and we’re “home”
Nobody hurt
Except the hummers
A few holes
Need new windshields

My heart still pounding
But we are still alive
Thank you GOD

Kristy Schaffer

Proposal Manager
From St. Anthony, Missouri

Army, Captain
Engineer
Sadr City, Iraq 2004-2005

Contractor
Information Operations/Strategic Communications Planner
Counter Improvised Explosive Device/Long Range Planning
Team in support of Multi National Corps Iraq
Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq 2005-2007

Written Statement

Things I have learned upon my return.

1. There is evil in this world.
2. There is also good.
3. Nothing in life is black and white, but many shades of gray.
4. It is okay to cry in public.
5. It is also okay to ask for help.
6. Everyone's experience is different and that should be respected.
7. There is nothing good about war.

Elizabeth O'Herrin

Graduate Student
From Marshall, WI

Wisconsin Air National Guard, Staff Sergeant
Munitions Systems (AMMO)
Southwest Asia 08/2004 - 01/2005
Balad, Iraq 05/2006 - 07/2006; 01/2008 - 03/2008

After I came back from my first deployment, when asked what I did in "the war," I said that I assembled and fused bombs. Laser guided bombs. Satellite guided bombs. Small bombs. Big bombs. Bunker buster bombs. If it explodes, I probably built it at some point.

But I quickly learned that answer usually killed the conversation - it even ended a few first dates early. It was an awkward thing to bring up in casual conversations. No one ever knew what to say. So, I eventually learned to be vague, and say something non-specific. Usually they wouldn't ask any more questions.

I don't often talk about what I did, or exactly how I feel about it. And in truth, I feel conflicted. I know that sometimes I helped save American lives by doing my job well. Our guys. My friends. And that makes me proud.

But that doesn't change the fact that I contributed - however indirectly to human beings vanishing from the earth, in a moment of sheer agony. Their breath sucked out of them, before they were incinerated in a fiery explosion.

Neal Ian Mitchell

New Hampshire Army National Guard Retention NCO
From From Enfield, NH

Army, Sergeant 1st Class
Talill AFB, Nasiryea, Iraq 2004

In 1942 after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, my father enlisted in the Navy. Following 9/11, as a former Marine I joined a NH Army National Guard unit and was deployed to Iraq in 2004. My unit escorted convoys, built schools, provided medical care, paved roads and distributed humanitarian supplies all under the constant threat of attack. I lead a gun truck security team for thousands of miles without a single casualty. We were very fortunate, “aDio Favante”.

Human nature being the selfish, unpredictable thing it is; war is a necessary evil. No country or individual can exist in freedom without demonstrating a will to fight. The United States has made mistakes but our nation, on and off the battlefield, has done more to defeat tyrants, defend the innocent and help the poor than any other country in the world. American service members have suffered, been wounded or killed in the defense of these self-evident, humanitarian principles. Their sacrifices should be acknowledged, not taken for granted.

History will ultimately judge our response to the mass murder of three thousand people on 9/11 perpetrated in the name of Islamic fundamentalism. Regardless, I will live my days confident that our time in Iraq did some greater good. I hope my father would have been proud of my decision.

Rodreques Boyd

Air Force K-9 Handler
From Atlanta, GA

Air Force, E-4 Senior Airman
K-9 Handler
Iraq, 9/06-7/07
Afghanistan -11/09-5/10

I HAVE

I've been....

Mad, scared, excited, happy, sad.
Absent for Christmas twice, new years twice, and my first and second anniversary.
Inside a prison with many detainees, in prison riots incited by a shortage of tea and cigarettes, in the midst of a religious war.

In rocket attacks, mortar attacks, taken cover from sniper fire, and small arms fire.
My partner (a german shepherd named Cici) and I have walked down roads in daylight and darkness sweeping for explosives and found explosives.

Away from my beautiful wife, family, and country for almost 500 days.

I've been! ....

And would do it all over again if it means that I'd help stop terrorist from breaching our bases, attacking our troops, and our families.

I am not alone, just one voice out of thousands of US military members who feel and have felt the same way.

We all have... experienced war.

Eric J. Dahl, DO

Emergency Medicine Resident
From Denver, CO

Army, Captain
Medical Corps Field Surgeon
Al Kut, Iraq, 4/07-7/08

The mission of an Army physician is “To Conserve the Fighting Strength,” and as difficult as it was to be away from my family, focusing on that mission helped me get through the deployment. 15 months was a long time, and there were a lot of tough days, many of them frightening and certainly tragic, but I believed in my mission. I knew that providing the best possible medical care to soldiers was fulfilling a sacred promise that helped them do their difficult job everyday. If soldiers knew that when they were sick, wounded, or just needed someone to talk to, my medics and I would be there for them, then they could execute their mission with confidence. Among the troops I served were also hundreds of coalition soldiers from El Salvador, Georgia, Poland, Romania, even the Iraqi Police and Iraqi Army. Like their American counterparts, these coalition forces fought hard, lived, and sometimes died there in Iraq. I missed my family and loved ones more than I could ever express, but taking care of the soldiers tasked with defending our country was an honor and privilege, and caring for them in Iraq was the best job I’ve ever had.

Joseph Shearer

Security
From Moundsville,WV

Marine Corps, Lance Corporal
Infantry Rifleman
2/05-10/05 Al-Anbar Province, Hit and Haditha, Iraq

No longer restricted by conscience or laws
So, many enemies I will shatter
My blood is the asking price
It’s because he will do the same for me
So my very life, I will sacrifice
And whomever fails, might end up crazy
Those are just a taste of the effects
Survivor’s guilt with a savior complex

Despite my efforts to prepare myself and be as informed as I could possibly be before I joined the Marine Corps in 2004, I was unprepared for the effect that going to war would have on me. Any of us who have returned home has a story to tell, honestly mine is one that I had kept for myself for years, but with a story of this magnitude, it must be shared. I was trained to be hard, to be able to carry a magnificently difficult burden, we all were. However despite any illusion of invincibility, we have to be open in our relationships, be vulnerable in our communities, because this war is something that has transformed our entire generation. Expression through art of all mediums can convey the pain of losing our friends, of feeling abandoned and left behind, and it has the power to help us heal. No one should wish for war, but we need to recognize and understand what kind of men and women it takes to fight one.

Erica Slone

Student
From Southeatern Ohio

Air Force, Staff Sergeant
Security Forces: Force Protection, Law Enforcement, Detainee Ops
Qatar, 11/03-5/04, Mosul, Iraq, 7/05-1/06, Camp Bucca, Iraq, 1/07-10/07

Journal Entry/Mosul, Iraq, 2005

At every carnival or fair I have ever been, always there was a vendor stand with plastic ducks of many colors floating aimlessly in a shallow ring of water. ‘Round and ‘round they go, only to go ‘round and ‘round some more. It’s a classic game of chance in the simplest form. Pick up an encircling duck of your choice and win whatever shoddy prize happens to be written on its underbelly. The thought of the game, because of its lack of complications, used to make me smile as I passed by. The prizes themselves were limited in range. An unlucky plucking would be rewarded with a glow-in-the-dark sticker, and yet even with the best blind selection you’d walk away with maybe a moderately-sized, pink, stuffed whatever. The most common prize was a goldfish. The goldfish would swim ‘round and ‘round in a pint-sized plastic bag, swim ‘round and ‘round, but before he can even be transferred to a gallon-sized bowl he’s belly-up with dead written all over him.

Ayman Kafel

Police Officer in Dorchester, MA
From Sharon, MA and Hanaweih, Lebanon

Army National Guard, Sergeant
Military Police, Personal Security Detail and Interpreter
Iraq, 1/05-12/05

I joined the armed services of the U.S. because of the pride I have being here and all the opportunities this country offers a person. I have this certain feeling inside me. In 2003 Master Sgt. Foster put it plainly to me that this feeling I have is a feeling that most people in the service have. Which is the pride of being here and the pride to protect this country. I mean the way I see it Arab Americans in the military shed blood in the same mud that Americans did. In order to give us the opportunity to live in such a marvelous nation. I want to do my part. I joined long before Sept. 11th and Sept. 11th gave me more motivation on the decision that I made. I also want to show that not all arabs are bad. We are good people, and the minority of bad arabs make the majority look very bad. There are plenty more reasons on why I joined but I just can't explain in words. It's just this feeling that I got inside me that I know I want to do this and I know I want to be in the U.S. Armed Forces.

Mariela Meylan

From Livermore, CA and Costa Rica

Army, Sergeant
Heavy Equipment Truck Driver, M-1000 Driver
Iraq, Kuwait 1/04-12/04

Mariela was run over by a truck while changing a tire on a military truck with three other soldiers. Of the other soldiers, two were killed and one severely injured. In a coma for eight months, Mariela suffered traumatic brain injury, a dislocated hip, lacerated spleen and liver, and a broken foot. In 2006 her parents were able to start arranging alternative therapies in addition to the treatments she was receiving through the Veteran’s Affairs system. The family credits these therapies, which include acupuncture, yoga, cranial sacral therapy, and swimming with her outstanding recovery to date.

Doctors said she would never walk again, Mariela is currently working to prove them wrong.

Written Statement

What can I say, or what am I supposed to say, about how I put myself in this whole WAR. Nothing, about it was memorable, or should I say good memories. It was hot just about every day. All I remember is that I had to be at a certain place, at a certain time, whether I liked it or not. I felt like I was part of a mission, to me was pointless in the first place. We as a team all had to be there to pick-up someone, or something. We had to be very cautious, about not being so loud, but our trucks were already loud. So there, was no point in hiding that we were close by. I was just doing what I was told to do, whether I liked it or not. It was not very pleasant.

Ash Kyrie Woolson

Graduate Student
From Rhinelander, WI

Army National Guard, Sergeant
Combat Engineer/Explosives and landmines
An Nasarya, Iraq, 2/03-5/04

I went to Iraq in 2003 without thinking. I thought what I was told to think, and believed what I was told to believe. The experience of going to war changed my perspective on life and the world we live in. I saw the consequences of war first hand. No one wants to believe that what they are doing for a living is hurting people, I didn't want to believe that I was.

The United States went to the war in Iraq to prevent another war. We believed that this war was the lesser of two evils. No one can predict what would have happened if we didn't start the war, but we do know for certain what has happened because of the war. What we prevented is a mystery.

I am a veteran for the rest of my life, and this will not change. Vietnam Veterans tell me that they are having the same dreams since returning from war; I will be having these dreams the rest of my life too. The Iraqi people will never forget this time in their lives, they will also be dreaming as I do.

Our parents teach us as children not to hit other children on the playground, but for some reason we think it is OK for countries to hit each other. We can learn from our mistakes and refuse to make them in the future. This is our privilege as humans.

James Boyd

Police Officer
From Albertville, Alabama

Civilian Advisor to the Afghani Police Force
Khost and Kabul, Afghanistan, 11/09-11/10

January 7th was the day of my war experience. I was embedded with the U.S. military in Afghanistan, advising the Afghan border police. We returned to our combat outpost at 3:20PM after a supply mission. Right away I noticed that the local border police we lived with were all but gone and my police instinct immediately told me something was wrong. My partner and I were talking to the Lieutenant and Sergeant outside our building and decided to change into cold weather gear for the night. Just as it got dark, we started receiving heavy enemy gunfire; it was relentless and was all at head level. I could hear the Sergeant yelling, “Incoming!” A suicide bomber drove a 4,000lb vehicle-borne improvised explosive device into our compound wall injuring 13 US soldiers. I ran to those who were calling for help and found the Sergeant I had been speaking with moments before; he was severely injured and later died. My partner and I ran back-and-forth across the compound under heavy gunfire to get medical bags and stretchers, and to give combat aid. More than a dozen Taliban tried to breach our compound throughout the attack but the team held them back. The rush of emotions throughout was unbelievable – the highest of highs and lowest of lows. The carnage of war is horrendous. The valor of warriors is inspiring. We should all be grateful to the members of our military who defend our enduring freedom and I am honored to support them in their mission.

Jaron Holliday

1985-2007
From Tulsa, OK

Army, Corporal
Airborne Infantry
Hawr Rajab, Iraq 10/06-8/07

Jaron died on August 4, 2007 when the vehicle he was in struck an Improvised Explosive Device

Excerpt from Jaron's letter to his brother John III on his 13th Birthday, August 1, 2007

"John, you are getting older. These days that you have. Use them wisely. Stay in school and do well. Excel John. I know you can do it, you are a smart kid. You can be whatever you want to be, it just takes time and effort on your part to achieve that goal. Mom and Dad are there for you because they love you. Momma told me that you are stepping up and helping her out. Momma needs you more than anything right now. I'm not there, you are. When you get your butt chewed, learn from it and move on. Don't dwell on it. You have six siblings looking up to you. Be a good role model for them. Follow Jesus. No matter what John, keep Him first. I love you man. I know you have a lot of potential, and you are going to do great things. Happy Birthday, and when I come home we will make up for all the time missed with you all. I love you, stay true and keep it real. ~Your Brother, J. Holliday

Nicole Grace Benway

Mental Health Worker
From Moretown, VT

Army Reserves, Specialist
Combat Medic
Tikrit, Iraq 8/07—6/08

It has always been hard for me to share my emotions with others, especially when a common experience is not shared. I think this is why it has been a challenge for me to sum up my experience in the war. There are no boundaries to the emotions one feels when at war. Working in an emergency room in Iraq taught me to go to a place in my mind away from emotion, so that I could render care to the wounded. Facing those emotions later was the hard part, often done with a shoulder of one of my “battle buddies” to lean on.

I have been told that I am a little modest in regards to my war experience. Although I was not on the “frontlines,” I saw what the war physically did to people. I saw many perish… I would undoubtedly give this gift to one of the many whom I watched take their last breath of air, for the sole reason that they would be here today.

Donisha Lindsey

Human Resources Assistant-Rhode Island
From Livermore, Ca

Navy, E-5 Petty Officer Second Class
Navy Aviation Maintenance Administration
Iraq Theater, (Persian Gulf) 2/03-6/03

March 22, 2003. All week we heard rumblings about a war. We knew it was coming but didn’t know when. I even went to Catholic Mass and received a rosary and a medallion with Mary, the Queen of Peace on it. I am not Catholic but I was worried.
I was checking an aircraft engine below decks when Shock and Awe was executed. America’s dominance was about to rain down on our enemies and my military friends were out there. Here I am on an air conditioned ship with a pen and pad and our men and women were out there with a gun and armor.

I filed papers.
They fired bullets.
I studied helicopters.
They flew them.
I came home.
Some did not.

No matter what I do in life I will always remember that the soldiers, sailors and airmen are my brothers and sisters in arms; they are my family no matter where they serve or what uniform they wear. And like all kin, I will always be scared for them and like all siblings I will always be proud of them.

Oorah brothers and sisters. Mary is watching.

Nathan Bruckenthal

1979-2004
From Stony Brook, NY

US Coast Guard, Petty Officer
Tactical Law Enforcement Team South
Operation Iraqi Freedom (Iraq Theater) 4/03-6/03, 2/04-4/04

Nathan Bruckenthal was killed in action while conducting waterborne intercept operations when the vessel he was attempting to board was destroyed by a suicide bomber

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN
by Nathan Brandt Bruckenthal 17 yrs old, 1996

As the sun glides off the face of the earth,
I am there to hold you.
As the wind blows like a raging bull,
I am there to protect you.
I am there when you need me,
From Dusk till Dawn,
I am there.
Do you see me?
I am here....

Javier Centonzio

Law Student
From Kansas City, Kansas

Marine Corps/Army National Guard Infantry, Sergeant
Protective Service Detail Member
Basrah, Iraq 11/05 -11/06

Rest In Peace SGT. Jessie Davila. You will never be forgotten.

In this place in my mind I find myself submerged in a deep body of water. The water is made up of the tears of the families and loved ones mourning the fallen. On either side of me are steep cliffs, leading up to mountains of expectations, high hopes and dreams that my fallen brothers could have accomplished if they had the chance. In the distance is an island where I imagine I'll someday reach and finally rest alongside them. For now I tread water. My head is above water and although I am weighed down by guilt and sadness, I am able to stay afloat. To my fallen brothers I ask that you forgive me for my moments of weakness and self pity. I haven’t done everything as I should have, especially when it comes to those closest to me. I try to live every day as though it is not promised to me. Trying to find purpose by serving others, but certain that I will never live up to the example of selflessness you have set. The memories of how you perished are slowly being replaced by the memories of the good times we had and the conversations we shared. If only I knew it would be the last time we spoke I would have asked so many more questions. Not a sunrise goes by that I don’t appreciate and reflect upon your sacrifices. Not a sunset goes by that I don’t think about you and what could have been. Could have been and should have been. I will never forget.

Vernon Eugene Davis III

Campus Law Enforcement Officer
From Millington, Maryland

United States Army Specialist
First Cavalry Division, 88 Mike Truck Driver, Convoy Security, Gunner
Baghdad, Iraq, March 2004 to March 2005

In March of 2004 I deployed to Iraq for one year with the U.S. Army’s 1st Cavalry Division. In March 2005 I convoyed back to Kuwait, from Baghdad. I thought I was done my deployment. I had already made my family aware that I would be in Kuwait preparing to return home. Once back in Kuwait my superior told me I had to go back to Baghdad, Iraq on one last mission to turn humvees over to the Third Infantry Division and then fly back to Kuwait.

It was two days by convoy to Baghdad. After the first day we stopped to eat and sleep at Camp Cedar Two in Iraq. That evening I was walking to the chow hall behind my squad. When I looked up I was stopped in my tracks by what I saw. It was a street sign that read SPC. Jarrett Thompson St. He was my cousin who died in September 2003 while serving in Iraq. Jarrett was in the U.S. Army Reserve 946th Transportation Company. I could not believe that I found a street sign on my last mission with Jarrett's name on it, this mission that I was not supposed to be on. While looking at his sign I realized why I survived my year in Iraq. Jarrett had been watching over me like a guardian angel. I then realized my mission was to find his sign. I never knew where he had served in Iraq until that day.

Ray Flores

Journalist
From Alexandria, Virginia

United States Army, Staff Sergeant
Public Affairs, Broadcast Journalist
Kuwait and Iraq, 2/03-1/04

I still remember the sneers from the other Soldiers when we redeployed from Mosul, Iraq in 2003. In a lot of people’s minds, our small team of nine had disgraced the Public Affairs field with our “antics.” Somehow our reckless behavior crossed a line…

The formula for our shenanigans?

Instead of feeding our command information stories back home to the States, we focused our reporting on the people who needed it most- the people of Northern Iraq.

Each day we witnessed Soldiers rebuilding infrastructure, delivering propane, providing medical assistance… We reported on those moments just like we were trained. But that squad of Soldiers only made a strong impression on a handful of people. Our hope was by broadcasting the Soldier’s stories to Northern Iraq we were exposing that squad’s efforts to over two million Iraqis.

We wanted to provide information so the people of Northern Iraq could make an informed decision about us, and our intent in their country. If faced with the decision, they could choose whether or not to detonate the IED.

“Iraqi Freedom News” was delivered to the local television station by 7 every night. And compared to the rest of the country, for a while Mosul felt relatively safer.

I can only hope our peers would be faced with the same situation and make the same exact decisions. Because in the end I hope we prevented just one death that year. I’d take all the sneers in the world if we accomplished that..